The Race Dream and Hans

Sleep of the Beloved by Paul Schneggenburger

The Brief Back Story

His desire for me to know his identity was apparent from the start, but I was not ready to confront his shadow.

The following information will need its own dedicated blog post to fully convey the details. For now, I’ll simply say that Hans cycled through several names before revealing his identity, but beginning in 2015, our connection centered on his most recent life in Germany.

In the early days of our communication, beginning in 2010 [1], Hans noticed how unsettled I became when he mentioned [2] that we had lived one of our past lives in Nazi, Germany. In response, he steered our conversations away from that time period. We wouldn’t return to the subject for several more years. As someone new to spirit contact—someone who hadn’t experienced much of the paranormal since childhood and adolescence—I had labeled Hans as demonic for telling me we had lived during that era. But Hans himself was newly discarnate—seventeen years by 2010—and tethered to the physical world as my spirit husband. Vicariously experiencing life through my senses made him feel unusually relatable, approachable, even vividly corporeal. But it also meant he was still learning—less experienced as a spirit.

Being here with me on the physical plane also helps Hans process his past life—an experience that remains emotional and difficult at times, shaped by the weight of war and captivity. His desire for me to know his identity was clear from the beginning, but I wasn’t ready to confront his shadow. In response to my rejection, he assumed a more acceptable persona: an English young man who shared his features, temperament, and even the same astrological element—Fire—as his most recent life in Germany. He longed for me to fall in love with the physical attributes he once had.

Since 2010, Hans has gone by several monikers, including “Hans,” a name I chose to protect his true identity, as he still has living family in Germany. Other aliases have included Magic Man, Dylan, and John.

In the following dream account and apparitional visitation....

The Dream Account

He makes it clear to them that this space is his. That I am his.

I am the only woman in the race. It seems like a military exercise on the Waterfront in Burlington, Vermont. The sky and lake are the color of tar.

We line up, then race down the bike path when the shot is fired. I am running barefoot. At the 90 degree bend I catch up to the two runners ahead of me. I give it my all and reach the finish line first.

Everyone is congratulating me.

"Nice job! You did amazing!" I hear L's [3] voice.

I turn around to see him walking toward me with a large smile on his face, his longish hair flowing in front of his face.

"Thanks," I say out of breath, walking toward him, wanting to say more, wanting to feel him wrap his arms around me. We are inches from contact when someone pulls me away into another dream. I am now in a battlefield, but suddenly wake up with an urge to use the toilet.

Awake Now, Post Dream

I turned to my left and saw Hans lying beside me, one of my cats curled against him. He wore a stark white uniform, his hair a pale, almost blinding blond. Though his face remained indistinct, I could tell he was asleep.

It always unfolds this way on the nights when the other soldier-ghosts drift in—Hans intensifies his presence as a form of protection, a quiet warning. He makes it clear to them that this space is his. That I am his.

Notes

[1] Technically, Hans has been with me since since his death in 1993, coming to me for the first time through a visitation dream/astral visitation on that year. For 17 years, he primarily operated under the radar, much like a spirit guide, which is also another of his roles with me.

[2] Through our then pendulum communication.

[3] ID protected.