Existential dread, David Bowie’s "Blackstar," cancer, and dark humor collide as I try to make sense of a world that feels increasingly unstable.

A gliding flight in Vermont becomes more when a series of small, insistent moments only later reveals their connection to a shocking event. Moving between lived experience and theory, the post traces how synchronicity and precognition unfold through time and creative response.

A visitation dream of flight, fear, and surrender gives way to a YouTube feed overtaken by cockpit footage and a vanished interview. The return of fighter jets pulls me back into questions of love, truth, and what remains unresolved.

Over ten days, I kept returning to the same images while working through depression and conflict with Hans. Through Eros and Psyche, the work shifted into distance, misalignment, and the inability to reconcile who he had been with who he is now. Still, I stayed with it.

After years of silence, I return to Blind Love—a novel born of visions, memory, and warning—guided again by Hans as the world turns darker still.

Exploring spiritual ancestry, a past life, and the call of the land, this journey uncovers hidden truths as I prepare to leave Vermont.

A journey into sacred land, spiritual expansion, and aging as a return to the wild, guided by unseen forces and my spirit lover, Hans.

An intimate, visitation dream account with Hans and his WWII capture in barren fields.

A journey of love transcending time: how films and music shaped my connection to Hans, my soulmate beyond death.

Hans came through for the time during a visitation astral visitation on 10/31/93, shortly following his death.

As I process what it means to be married to a spirit, the term verboten culturally enslaves my relationship with Hans and deems it demonic.

Nothing could prepare me for what I would endure when I found out about Pan Am 103 exploding over Lockerbie Scotland.

Sad song by Bob Moses. The entire album, Days Gone By, is a requiem for the Surfside collapse + for my past life collapse trauma.

His desire for me to know his identity was apparent from the start, but I was not ready to confront his shadow.

Early this morning, around 3 or 4 am, ich sehe in der Ferne, I see you in the distance, hovering in the black void, smiling...

This book has been years in the making, taking dozens of twists and turns that have mirrored moments in my current and past life.

They have destroyed your beauty, your canopy that once enfolded me into your splendor.

A personal reflection on heroin's allure, its devastation in Vermont, and the haunting contrast between youthful idealism and lived reality—woven through cultural memory, historical drug use in WWII, and a playful what-if imagining of soldiers on LSD instead of meth.

Typing is akin to using an Enigma machine, especially if I over analyze the keyboard...

After being haunted by the Brandstätten images in December, I decided to purchase original photographs of WWII bombed out German cities.