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"I write to discover what I know."
– Flannery O'Connor


Taking Flight (Part 2): “It’s Now or Never”
A gliding flight in Vermont becomes more when a series of small, insistent moments only later reveals their connection to a shocking event. Moving between lived experience and theory, the post traces how synchronicity and precognition unfold through time and creative response.

Lavavoth
Apr 1613 min read


"Keep Going": Practice without Resolution
Over ten days, I kept returning to the same images while working through depression and conflict with Hans. Through Eros and Psyche, the work shifted into distance, misalignment, and the inability to reconcile who he had been with who he is now. Still, I stayed with it.

Lavavoth
Apr 57 min read


The Quest for Spiritual Ancestry: A Journey Through Memory, Trauma, and New Beginnings
Exploring spiritual ancestry, a past life, and the call of the land, this journey uncovers hidden truths as I prepare to leave Vermont.

Lavavoth
Jun 10, 20245 min read


How Music, Lifestyle, and Film Shaped My Early Experiences of Sensing Hans
A journey of love transcending time: how films and music shaped my connection to Hans, my soulmate beyond death.

Lavavoth
Feb 18, 20246 min read


"River Phoenix": Synchronicity, a Visitation Dream, and Dream Research
Hans came through for the time during a visitation astral visitation on 10/31/93, shortly following his death.

Lavavoth
Feb 14, 202413 min read


The Verboten Love Affair
As I process what it means to be married to a spirit, the term verboten culturally enslaves my relationship with Hans and deems it demonic.

Lavavoth
Nov 5, 20232 min read


A Bombing and a Past Life
Nothing could prepare me for what I would endure when I found out about Pan Am 103 exploding over Lockerbie Scotland.

Lavavoth
Jul 28, 20214 min read


The Race Dream and Hans
His desire for me to know his identity was apparent from the start, but I was not ready to confront his shadow.

Lavavoth
Nov 16, 20173 min read


Preface to Blind Love: Fascism, Then & Now
This book has been years in the making, taking dozens of twists and turns that have mirrored moments in my current and past life.

Lavavoth
Sep 8, 20174 min read


Blitzed Baby! Psychedelic Marines, Subterranean Dreams & the Heroin Epidemic
A personal reflection on heroin's allure, its devastation in Vermont, and the haunting contrast between youthful idealism and lived reality—woven through cultural memory, historical drug use in WWII, and a playful what-if imagining of soldiers on LSD instead of meth.

Lavavoth
Aug 4, 20175 min read


Latest Photo Acquisitions: GIs, Bombed-Out German Cities & Panzers
After being haunted by the Brandstätten images in December, I decided to purchase original photographs of WWII bombed out German cities.

Lavavoth
Jun 7, 20173 min read


Transforming a Kriegsmarine Sailor into a Goth with an Aphrodisiacal Mensur Scar
Lavavoth | Death Tarot Card | © 2018 First phase of digital illustration and collage. Note the lace cascading from his sailor hat, an essential element. All Goths are required to wear Valkyrie-procured lace on their uniforms to manifest auspiciousness in battle. More on the scar in a moment. © 2017 Lavavoth. Original photo from the artist’s private collection (Stuart Archive). Original photo before edits (Stuart Archive). Guided by Ghosts, Grounded by Inquiry My art-making pr

Lavavoth
Jun 6, 20173 min read


Nazisploitation: Avoiding “The Night Porter” Trap (and Website Updates)
Although Blind Love is an edgy and provocative illustrated novel full of “Nazi heartthrobs,” it is actually about the resistance movement.

Lavavoth
Mar 27, 20173 min read


Occupied Flesh: 1940 - 1945 The Erotic Years as a Mirror to My Spirit Union
The Erotic Years, 1940 – 1945 is a controversial picture book depicting trysts between Nazi soldiers and French women in occupied France.

Lavavoth
Feb 24, 20172 min read


Haunted Berlin, Part 2: The Berlin Wall
In Berlin, Germany, a visit to the Berlin Wall becomes an encounter with World War II soldiers moving through the field, appearing without warning.

Lavavoth
Dec 26, 20163 min read


Haunted Berlin, Part 1: The Flak Tower
In Berlin, Germany, the flak tower becomes a point of entry into a city where the past presses in and something unseen begins to surface.

Lavavoth
Dec 22, 20164 min read


Brandstätten: The Firebombing of Germany
Exploring the devastation of German air raids, and how the complexity of history’s shadows linger in a past life memory.

Lavavoth
Dec 18, 20165 min read


“Great Fun!”: Nazi Germany Photographs and the Unbearable Persistence of Fascism
Connecting with the ghosts of Nazi Germany via photographs to understand fascism then and now.

Lavavoth
Dec 16, 20167 min read


Antique Photo Collection: Searching for Hans’s Face in the Portraits of Others
Collecting antique photographs was a spiritual and aesthetic quest to get as close to Hans's doppelgänger as possible.

Lavavoth
Dec 15, 20165 min read


He Intoxicates Her: A Love Story Inspired by the Cupid & Psyche Myth
A 4AM sketch of Cupid and Psyche stalls as Cupid’s face won’t take its intended form. Each attempt produces a different man, one that forces the illustration for to follow a face I didn’t choose.

Lavavoth
Aug 15, 20102 min read
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