This post explores how Hans communicates with me through music.

Exploring spiritual ancestry, past life echoes, and the call of the land, this journey uncovers hidden truths as I prepare to leave Vermont.

A journey into sacred land, spiritual expansion, and aging as a return to the wild, guided by unseen forces and a spirit lover, Hans.

A journey of love transcending time: how films and music shaped my connection to Hans, my soulmate beyond death.

Sad song by Bob Moses. The entire album, Days Gone By, is a requiem for the Surfside collapse + for my past life collapse trauma.

"Alaska" by Austrian electronic duo HVOB from their album Rocco.

Cigarettes and sex are on your breath again It's cool, I'm the same, the way we kiss...

You leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust Filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above.

Do you remember all the sounds, when I found you by the lake, and how the water seemed to call your name?

Early this morning, around 3 or 4 am, ich sehe in der Ferne, I see you in the distance, hovering in the black void, smiling...

A personal reflection on heroin's allure, its devastation in Vermont, and the haunting contrast between youthful idealism and lived reality—woven through cultural memory, historical drug use in WWII, and a playful what-if imagining of soldiers on LSD instead of meth.

A persistent spirit moves objects, disrupts plans, and lingers despite cleansing rituals—bound by past lives, devotion, and the unexplained.